Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The Big Smoke: a year and a bit later

I worry about South Africa. I worry about my family and friends living in South Africa. Can we expect change? Or is it about time that we admit things are that bad and restart our lives somewhere else?

I am struggling to remain positive and it scares me.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Anxiety overcome by Excitement (for the moment anyway...)

My last day at this hell hole has arrived!

I am so excited I can't even write.

Will spend day on google, gmail, facebook and this here blog. Wonderful.

Tonight I shall have a glass or two of an alcoholic beverage to celebrate. Excellent.

Tomorrow I shall sleep in.

Could a girl ask for more?

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

And the Anxiety sets in...

This morning it dawned on me that I am actually moving to JHB. In like, 14 days.

Had mini-heart attack. Downed a bottle of rescue remedy.

Am frikken scared:

Where will I live? Will I get hijacked? Do I remember how to cook? Who will do my washing? Where will I sit? (Don't have couch) etc etc etc

Deep breaths.

At least I only have 2 more days left at this sick organisation (Am not exaggerating - an organizational psychologist described this company in those exact words after a colleague described it to her - it seriously sucks ass).

Deep breaths.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Where's the Compassion?!

Monday started off pretty good. Slept in. Found acceptable outfit fairly easily. Even blow-dried hair (huge bloody feat). No longer rough as a badger’s ass. Awesome.

Get to office. Pretend to be busy. Check emails. Make coffee. Smugly think to self: Only 3 more days until resignation effective. All is more than wonderful.

Then I check Facebook. Frikken Facebook:

You have been tagged in 3 photos

Oh God.

Frikken terrible photos. Terrible. Remove bloody tag.

Come now, people. Have some compassion. Have exes, colleagues, family etc that check Facebook. Have reputation to maintain. No need to tag me in compromising positions in dodgy locations. People don’t need to know my real self (scary).

Day ruined. Need to do damage control.


Day has gotten worse.

Colleague comes up to me now, double takes, stares and says:

Are you drunk? Whats wrong with your eyes? (I can't help if eyes red and made worse by bite under eye received last night by mosquito)

Great, just great. Someone want to take a photograph?

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Rough as a Badger's Ass

Oh God. Am so hungover.

Why, oh, why?

Went to Pancho's last night for a margarita or two. Turns out it was a jug or three.

Embarassed self shamelessly. Our waiter kept on giving me funny looks - couldn't figure out why. Then realised he was the same waiter I had drunkenly flirted with the week before (I am a regular). Called him "Mr. Waiter Man". I mean, seriously. Can I not remember that before I frikken show up at the restaurant?

To make more cringe-worthy, friend thought funny to give him my number. Decorated with hearts.

Bloody hell.

Good thing moving to JHB.

Friday, June 20, 2008

On a Lighter Note: The Glorious Male Market

Ok, so have been receiving some interesing comments with regard to my previous post. Thoughts as follows:

Ladies, we seriously do have to be responsible about whom we deem acceptable for a bit of harmless action. Know them well. Otherwise you might find yourself in my situation, or worse. Being flippant about these things is stupid, especially since we can never compete physically with a male (well, most of the time anyway). And men, I know most of you are not like this, so please don’t take personally (And I actually like you lot immensely).

But on a lighter note...

I have great news. I think that some of my shares may actually be making me a profit in the not too distant future (Yes, I dabble on the stock market, albeit not too well). Am still learning. And believe me, even if you read every financial market textbook there is, engage in technical/fundamental and value analysis, you will still get it wrong some of the time.

And that got me thinking. About relationships. And men (what a surprise!). And the similarities between the two markets (Stocks and Males).

Actually, as far as I can tell, the JSE and men* have a lot in common:

1. They both have hidden costs: When buying shares on the JSE, you also incur brokerage fees, STRATE fees etc, which, if you are new at this, can take you by quite surprise! (Incidentally, this is why I have been incurring losses – due to not being able to trade with copious amounts of cash, every little cost counts). Men, on the other hand, have more complicated costs that you may not be aware of when you first enter into a relationship – he might have disagreeable friends, be married to golf, enjoy a few too many too frequently, or (God forbid!), he might be disappointing in more intimate circumstances! Costs for the JSE and men usually occur when you have already made a substantial investment and cannot easily pull out without incurring more costs.

2. They are both unpredictable: The JSE tends to get easily influenced by the investors’ feelings. As a result, it can be extremely volatile and sometimes not act in the way you would expect, as some other investors’ may have different feelings to yours. Alternatively, men are inexplicably unpredictable – sometimes influenced by their friends, sometimes by their family and sometimes by you. You just never know which way he is going to go. Both shares and men may end up disappointing you for no satisfactory explanation and there is absolutely nothing you can do about this.

3. They are both High Risk, High Return: As many of you might know, the JSE is a high risk investment that can ultimately offer you the greatest return in comparison to other investment options such as cash or bonds. In the same breath however, you can luck out, and incur all the risk without any of the return. It depends very much on your choice of shares and your reasons for investing in them. Similarly, men are a high risk, high return asset (in comparison to pets, a good book or a slab of chocolate). Unfortunately, many of us get it wrong initially: so eager to get into the market, we invest in the wrong man, incur hidden costs and leave the relationship with negative returns usually made up of heartbreak, insecurity and lack of self respect. This results from a lack of comprehensive analysis due to love being ‘blind’. But luckily, most of us learn, and further attempts involve intelligent investing where we are rewarded with high returns, even when there are hidden costs. Both good men and good shares are worth waiting for.

So my investor friends be careful of what or who you invest in and most importantly, don’t rush into anything. Be patient, have a margarita, and you might just be greatly rewarded.

PS. You might have read a similar version of this on another one of my blogs (which has subsequently gone to blog heaven). Apologies.

*I do not deny that this post could be similarly applied to women. But it is really so much more fun comparing it to men – besides isn’t investing in the stock markets a very manly thing to do? A good comparison, indeed.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Me? Open-minded? Apparently not.

Ok, still bored at work. As a result, have much time to think and thoughts have been stubborn and focused on one topic: male species. Thoughts encouraged by past weekend activities.

First thought: F*CKING MEN.

Kissed one this weekend - good looking but as arrogant as all hell. Didn't really mind at first because I was only in it for the ass (I know, can you believe it - this move to Jozi is doing all sorts of crazy stuff to my head) but then got a bit annoyed when I realised that he was one of those men that doesn't understand the word 'no'. To him, it meant 'you want to but you are too scared of what people think'. For real. He said that. And to make matters worse he is f*cking intelligent (just got scholarship to do his Phd in philosophy in the UK). The problem was that after going out for a brithday party, we all ended up staying at the same house. I was dead keen to sleep in the same room as my (girl) friend (all I had wanted was a one night kiss, no ruby-ruby for me). Next thing I knew, friend gets thrown out of room, door locked, on back, pinned down by brute force, something hard poking me.

I thought: f*ck me, what are we in for? Following conversation unfolds:

Me: No thanks, not tonight.

Him: Relax!

Me: thanks.

Him: Are you insecure?


Me: No!

Him: What happened to you in your childhood that made you like this?

Stared at him blankly. What? Self was slightly confused. His manipulative ways were wearing me down a little. Thought to self, is there something wrong with me? Alcohol not helping.

Me: NO! (still trying to take my clothes off while asking about childhood)

Him: Thought you were open-minded – but obviously not.

He storms off. Am relieved but unnerved and also doubtful of self (obviously not good).

But not to worry, I gather myself to myself and think: who the f*ck does he think he is? But did have familiar sad feeling of being treated badly by male and then got angry. F*ck him. Anyway time passes, fall asleep. Next thing, pinned down by brute force, something hard poking me.


Went through the whole thing again, said no a million times, he insulted me accordingly. Even told me that was only interested in one-night thing (good way to get a girl in bed!), that he was amazing and that I was missing out etc.


Anyway, am alive. And the only thing he managed to achieve was get minimal clothes off and blue balls the next morning. Abusive, arrogant man.

But seriously, what is that about? It’s the freakin 21st century.

Less than wonderful, certainly.